@Guest_69132: This crazy psycho is also a poor, destroyed person. It isn't excuse of course. But both of them was broken.0
Such a crazy psycho. Poor child.0
Beautifully pictured with this letter. He is already broken, I guess it was too much mental pression for him already. I thought he will be fighting with it until he will understand that everything what he will do is useless and that he have to do everything in his life only to please mummy. But it's ok that way also. I'm suprised how good author pictured it. This is how it looks like.0
As what we thought. After just one chapter with a dead kitty we were able to guess what this manga will be about. Now Sei, show us how traumatized children who are allowed to love only mummy behave.0
The next target is the girl..0
...the abuse and hatred given to me by my parents, the instantaneous response shocked momentarily my parents and they asked the question again if I was going to choose to live amongst spics or still keep my family bonds, as choosing someone outside my race meant I could never be a part of my family again. I still chose as if it was a natural reaction. So I was told to leave the next day as it was late. I stayed because of the other cat that was said to be a replacement for me. Quite a big, cute fat cat. Afterwards, I left and never looked back. Though I still had slight feelings for my grandmother. She was the least nastier of the two. Of course, a year later, it got so bad that even not telling me something important seemed to be the norm. What happened was that I had a weird premonition when I was sleeping, which tore me awake. It was early morning. I kept hearing my name and check my grandmother's name and write death in Google. I did so, and wouldn't you know? My grandmother had died. I had to call my friend sobbing. I was sobbing because my mother took her hatred to warped heights. Never even told me and had to find out online 11 months later. Worse still, when I checked if my home was still there that I grew up in, it was sold a month after she died, for the EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY I SAID SHE'D GET FROM IT 15 YEARS AGO, $20,000!!!! If I were to just go there unannounced like I used to, in my neighborhood infested with gang violence, I'd have been shot without a second's notice. I'd have been dead. That's why I had been sobbing, to see how low my mom sank, and how there was no caring for her anymore, despite our blood, she was a threat. A stranger to me. Her cousin, who took me home that day after I chose the "spics", had my phone number and knew where I lived. To keep it secret from me for almost a year just made me feel glad that I made the right choice in what I did. Now, it's very fleeting that I wonder how she's doing. Can't even find her online in records, since my family was a bunch of hermits and shut ins. While I don't wish for anything bad to happen to her, I technically don't acre what happens now after this. After all, since our time here is so finite, eventually, death calls for us in no certain order which causes our separation. But for it to happen like this, every so often I get extremely depressed. To spoil someone then instantly throw them out in the street as if they're a stranger still baffles me to this day. But I gave all this background, and even surpassed the character limit, which is why there's two of these long posts, to say that leaving your parents when they're obsessive, even someone you're in love with like my ex, may hurt short term, but using what you can that's not detrimental to you and trades in one suffering for the other, maybe worse one, you can get to the long term and be stronger for what you know and know that no one can do the same thing to you that you don't want it.0
Sooo, 66585, 90 & 92: I'll go one better, since you're talking about controlling mothers: Mine, I guess you could say she was like that, but not to the extreme you said. Even though she said she loved me, there were times if I asked about my biological father, she'd get angry and start to yell at me or just treat me like *** for the rest of the day when I said said taboo topic. Plus, we were polar opposites. She wanted me to wear Air Jordans and other unnecessarily expensive stuff and I wouldn't have it since you couldn't tell the difference anyway. Fast forward to when I was near 21, and she threw me out, her only son and child, because I couldn't be bought with video games anymore in order to look away from the fact that she's going to lose the house spending irresponsibly. While I was homeless and disowned by her when I was getting abused by homeless people in the homeless shelter, I made my own life. Through some religion and lucky friends God blessed me with, I made it, and hardened me into difficult decisions to stick to if after analysis, I was right. Over the span of close to 10 years, I visited about maybe 11 or 12. That would be because it'd be instantly like I never left, with glares and resentment because of what I believed that my mom taught me when I was 8 years old! Five years later, when she was laid off from her job as secretary, I noticed that's when she became an asshole. Oh, to give background: What was the one thing she taught me? Love is blind and has no color. So, with that, about 3 years ago, I finally returned home after an abusive relationship with my ex who thought that only taking from me and being hateful to me. When I went home, of course aside from seeing my grandmother and my mom (My stepdad and cat, which I brought in when I was 13 to actually mend the family as a pet, died in the year I was away in a halfway house to afford my shitty place I'm trying to get out of now. She wanted me to quit school and my job to stay with her. I instantly refused. I didn't go through all that bullshit that almost cost me my life a good few times to live as a homebound loser who plays nothing but video games. Further, when I finally admitted a taboo to her, that I was in love with a Latina, she got angry along with Grandma and said I had to choose, between my family and this woman. I easily chose the Latina. But not because I was attracted to her. I knew after my abusive relationship with my ex, love is fleeting but your morals shouldn't be fleeting, that naturally, there was resistance to the bigotry and racial supremacy that my mom and grandma were trying to endorse. This was natural to me. I find loving within your race quite claustrophobic and option limiting. It's like eating vanilla all the time. If everyone could find a mate outside their race, that'd be ideal for me. If I couldn't have 100%, I'd rather choose 90% over 10% anyday of the week. So because of that choice I instantly made thanks....0
Oh my. I love how an author is drawing an atmosphere. This manga is stunning.Also mother. She was abused for sure. She is smiling all the time. :Spoilers: When she pushed Shigeru, she was in shock or some kind of transe. Weird why Shigeru wanted to push her son several times and probably she protected her son by eliminating Shige. I wonder what will be next. We can see already that something is off.0
Oh, so it isn't only for her child ?0
i am not john snow.. but.. i know nothing.wired..0
Guest_66590: Thank you for your kind words. It is really great to know that there is any way out from this relation. Unfortunately right now I'm not able to oppose my mum in any way. It's just impossible. Even if I try I feel dizzy, vomit or faint before I do anything. When I was younger I had my own thoughts, but when I wanted to do something on my own or disagree with her she cried that I didn't love her and tried to kill herself. But now I don't even have thoughts of my own, I'm not able to make even the most simple decision without her telling me what to do. But at least I can see a problem. Some time ago I was like this boy from manga. Mum was godess for me, and any message she act weird was a sacrilege. Well, even now I feel a bit guilty about what I think about her, you know, she can be really sweet and caring. But now at least I know, I want to be independent, I want to do what you did, even if it seems impossible for me right now. Thank you for your message.0
Guest_66585 : I don't know how old you are, but as soon as you can, just go away from her. Don't let her destroy you and certainly don't let her take your child from you, if you ever have one. The best is to have only polite, distant relationship with her until she calms down (if she ever does). She is projecting on you all she lacks in life, but it's not your duty to ease her existence. You have a life on your own. Just go away, maybe study some place elsewhere (maybe by tricking her into believing you do that to be able to live near her or take care of her) and then, once you've got a job, make yourself distant. If she goes to lenghts such as coming at your door and making you miserable, avoid her completely for some months or even years. I had to deal with this, believe me. I did what was right and now, my mother and I (I'm also a woman) have the most balanced relationship ever. It's hard at first but it's worth it. You have your own life to take care of.0
I really like novels of this author. Like an other manga about splitted personality or this one. The pacing is maybe a bit slow, but it builds the atmosphere perfectly. This story remainds me strongly of me and my mum. My mum is just like a character - sweet, loving, a bit spoiling, absolutely perfect mother (on the outside), and yet she is very controlling and want all my love to be towards her. Everything in my life has to be about her and she has to know everything what is happening in my life in the tiniest details. If she feels I can love somebody/something else, she feels terrified and will destroy it. If I would like some stray kitty, pet it every day and bring it food, she would kill it. If I like teddy bear she tears it apart. If I like some boy (I'm a girl) she makes me hate him. She also deciding on everything in my life (because 'she don't want me to make mistakes and be hurt'). She tells me often that if I would have a child some day in the future, she would take it away from me, because she knows how to be better mother than I would ever be. (And no, there is no incest here, but she just has to remind me on every step that she loves me the most, but I don't think it's love, it's rather like marking her property).0
I'm out, 3 chapters in and I still don't know what the *** is going on. Seems like some weird incest(if so I'm out even more) thing but the build has been done at a snails pace.0